


Midnight Love

by mihomi98



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-25 01:23:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3791380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihomi98/pseuds/mihomi98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows that the Mauraders are the closest friends in Hogwarts. But what if two of the Mauraders wanted to be more than "just friends?" What if they had been in love, but to stubborn and afraid to lose their friendship to see what would happen between them? RLSB, JPLE</p><p>Repost from fanfiction.net. Written in 2008.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Padfoot! Hurry up! We're going to be late!" James called up the steps.

"Gods, Prongs, I'm almost done!" Sirius shouted back. It was September 1st, almost time for the Potters (plus Sirius) to head to the train station for the Mauaders' last year at Hogwarts. Sirius glanced around the room, making sure he hadn't forgotten anything, before heading down the steps to meet James. "Okay, I'm ready. So, are we leaving now?"

James nodded as his parents walked into the living room, where James and Sirius were standing. "Ready, boys?" Martin Potter asked. When the boys nodded, he gestured to a bucket. "Grab ahold, the portkey is about to leave."

A few minutes later, James and Sirius had arrived at the station. Both boys hugged Mr. and Mrs. Potter before walking away.

"Want to go find a compartment?" James asked.

"Sure," Sirius answered, looking around for one. After a few minutes of searching, James and Sirius tossed their trunks onto the ground of an empty compartment.

"Soo..." James said, his voice trailing off.

"What?" Sirius asked, although he was pretty sure he knew what James was going to say.

"Are you going to tell Moony this year?" James looked at Sirius, who sighed. James rolled his eyes. "Pads, you  _need_  to tell him." Sirius could feel his cheeks grow red at the mention of his wolfy friend.

"No I don't," Sirius disagreed. "Why do I  _need_ to tell him?"

"Because, you've been in love with him for three freaking years! I don't understand how you've stayed sane keeping that in for so long."

"You've been doing the same thing with Lily!" Sirius shot back, agitated. "Prongs, just drop it! I'll tell Moony when I'm ready!"

"Tell me what?" Remus said, sitting back down in the compartment, smiling at Sirius. James burst out laughing, clutching his sides as he feel to the floor. Sirius glared at him.

"Nothing," Sirius muttered, still glaring at James as he composed himself.

Remus' smile faltered. "I can tell you guys were talking about me. Was it something mean?" Remus had always had a fleeting suspicion that Sirius and James talked about him behind his back continuously, and lately he had started to wonder if what they were saying about him was cruel.

"No! I'd never say something mean about you, Remus! I-" Sirius clapped his hand over his mouth, and quickly ran out of the compartment. James sighed.

"I better go talk to him," James said. "I'll catch up with you in a few minutes, okay?"

"Yeah." Remus nodded. "I needed to talk to Lily, anyways."

James walked out of the compartment, in search of Sirius. He crashed into Lily on the way. "LILY!" he called.

"What, James?" Lily answered. (She had taken to calling his James at the end of their 5th year.)

"Have you seen Sirius around any where?" James asked, exasperated. He had checked the entire train, and he couldn't find Sirius any where. "Oh, and Remus wants to talk to you. He's in our usual compartment."

"Okay, thanks," Lily said. "Oh, and yes, I did see Sirius. He looked really upset. He's in one of the compartments in the very front of the train."

James threw his arms around Lily. "You're a life saver, Lily!" Lily laughed, and hugged James back.

"Good luck with Sirius!" she said, walking off in search of Remus.

"Thanks!" he called back, before fleeing to the front of the train. After five minutes of searching, he finally found Sirius. Sirius was hunched over on a seat, his head in his hands. He was shaking slightly. "Pads, are you okay?" James asked, concerned for his friend.

Sirius shook his head. "I don't know, Prongs. Life sucks."

"I know how you feel, mate," James answered, putting his arm around his friend in a side hug.

"No you don't, James," Sirius mumbled. He blinked rapidly, trying to get rid of the tears that were threatening to spill over his eyelids. "You have no idea what it's like to be head over heels in love with your best mate, who just happens to be 100 straight. You actually have a chance with Lily! I have none with Remus." Sirius put his head into his hands again. James just held Sirius tight against him, trying unsuccessfully to soothe him.  **(aww, poor Siri!)**

OoOoOo

Lily opened the door to the usual Maurader compartment to see Remus with his head against the window, and Peter eating. "Remus?" Lily said. Remus glanced over before putting his forehead against the cold glass of the window. "James said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah," Remus answered quietly. "Peter, do you mind leaving for a moment? I need to talk to Lily alone."

"Sure. I should go find Marie, anyway." Marie was the girl that Peter had gotten together with at the beginning of the summer. As he left, Lily sat down across from Remus.

"Okay, Remus, whats going on?" Lily asked. Remus looked out the window again, not exactly sure what to say. "Is it about Sirius?"

Remus was shocked. "What do you mean?" His pulse began to get faster and faster, and he could feel his face heating up.  _Was I really_ _that obvious?_ he wondered.

Lily sighed. "You're in love with him, aren't you?" Remus remained silent for a moment, then, slowly, he nodded.

"Yeah, I am," he whispered.

"I knew it!" Lily exclaimed. "Ever since the middle of last year, you get all nervous, yet excited, every time Sirius is around you! You used to send him those longing glances all of the time in class when you thought no one was looking..."

Remus thought for a moment before saying, "Wait, did you just say since the middle of last year? I didn't even realize I had feelings for him that were more than platonic until the start of summer! Oh, my god... do you think Siri or James have noticed? I can't face Sirius now!"

"What are you going to do?" Lily asked. She was confused. What was Remus planning on doing?

"I need to stay away from him for a while. After all, Sirius is straight," Remus answered mournfully. "I need to get these feelings to stop. Siri would freak if he found out I was in love with him..."

"Remus, don't avoid him! That is only going to hurt you both!"

"He won't notice. He notices James more than me. He's James' best friend! I'm just Remus, the homosexual werewolf," Remus spat bitterly.

"Haven't you noticed? Ever since James and I have become friends, you and him have gotten a lot closer. He will definitely notice if you suddenly aren't acting the same around him!" Lily exclaimed. "Sirius will be  _hurt_! You might think that he won't, but he will be!"

"Whatever. Lily, I'm going to go change into my robes. My mind is made up. I need to stay away from Siri for a while," he said.  _No matter how much it hurts me_ , he added in his mind. He grabbed his robes, and went to change.

When he came back, the rest of the Mauraders were in the compartment. Remus held his breath, walking in slowly, grabbing his stuff, and walking back out.

Sirius watched Remus leave, tearing up slightly again.  _Why the hell am I so moody about all of this?_ Sirius asked himself.

"What was that about?" James asked. Sirius shook his head.

"I don't know," he answered. "But I'm sure it won't last very long. He can't stay mad at the Mauraders for very long." His voice was hopeful. Lily, who was still in the compartment, looked doubtful.  _I doubt it,_ she thought. If Remus didn't want to be anywhere near Sirius, he'd sure as hell stay away from Sirius, and no amount of persuasion could make Remus talk to him again.

"Guys, shouldn't we change into our robes? We should be there in, like, five minutes," Peter said changing the subject.

"Yeah, good idea," Sirius said, still moping slightly.

OoOoOo

Dinner that night was no different from the train ride to Hogwarts.

"Remus? Can you pass the rolls?" Sirius asked for the tenth time, trying desperately to get Remus to say something to him or, at the very least, look at him. Remus did as Sirius asked, although he neither did he say anything or look at Sirius. Sirius bit his lip hurt. He glanced at James.

Remus got up, and walked out of the great hall. "What's wrong with him?" Peter asked the other three at the table. Lily shrugged.

"I'll go talk to him," Lily suggested. "I doubt he'll tell me what's wrong, but... who knows, maybe I'll get it out of him."

Now it was James turn to stare as Lily walked out of the Great Hall. He was pretty sure that she would agree to go out with him now but, he wasn't going to ask her while his best friend was hurting inside.

Lily hurried out of the great hall to where Remus always went when he was upset. The library. Sure enough, she found him in the Muggle History section (where no one ever went), hunching by a chair, crying.

"Oh, Remus..." Lily said, crouching down by Remus. "Whats wrong?"

"It's just... ugh! I don't know!" Remus exclaimed.

Lily sighed. "Remus, I don't think you noticed how hurt Sirius was that you weren't talking to him!"

"Yeah, right. I'm just a friend to him. He's dealt just fine when any of the other Mauraders where mad at him, why would it be any different with me?" Remus stood stiffly. "Lily, it's getting late-" It was already 10 o'clock "-so I'm going to just go back to my dorm and go to bed. Night."

Remus walked back slowly, contemplating what he would do if he ran into Sirius in the common room. Sure enough, the first person he saw was, in fact, Sirius. But before Sirius had time to notice Remus standing there, Remus sprinted up the steps to his dorm, and got into bed. When Sirius came upstairs a few minutes later, Remus pretended to be asleep.

"Remus?" Sirius said. "Remus? Are you awake?" When there was no answer, Sirius sighed. "I wish you weren't mad at me, Remy, I can't stand it when you're mad at me." Sirius walked over to his own bed, and closed his curtains. Remus was tortured during the next few hours as Sirius cried himself to sleep.

OoOoOo

 _I shouldn't love you but I want to_  
I just can't turn away  
I shouldn't see you but I can't move  
I can't look away

_And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not  
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop_

_Just So You Know (Jesse McCartney)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I realize that the French in this isn't exactly correct. It's been like eight years since I wrote this story, and I didn't know shit back then. However, I'm not exactly any better now.

Remus walked to the Great Hall for breakfast, his head down. He hadn't gotten any sleep. Listening to Sirius' sobs made sleep impossible. The sounds of his tears haunted Remus even after Sirius was fast asleep.  _Well, thats what you get for falling in love with him,_ he thought. He stared at the ground so intently he didn't notice that he was about to walk into some random person in the corridor.

 **(Btw, in this section, there is a translation at the bottom.)**  " _D_ _é_ _sol_ _é_ _!"_  he muttered, not realizing he had begun talking in French. He did that a lot, especially if his mind was in a different place.

" _C'est bien,_ " was the answer he got. Remus looked up.  _He's cute..._ Remus thought. Standing in front of him was a tall boy with redish blond locks. The boy smiled at him.  _"Parler vous fran_ _Ç_ _ais?"_

 _"Oui,"_ Remus answered, nodding. It was a nice change, speaking in his native language to someone. . " _Comment tu t'appelles? Et tu as quel_ _â_ _ge?"_ Remus stared at the boy. He really  _was_ cute. And French. French was good.

" _J'ai nouveau. Je m'appelle Adrien. J'ai 17 ans. Et toi?"_ Adrien responded, looking Remus in the eyes.

" _Je m'epple Remus. J'ai 16 a-"_ Remus stopped as Sirius walked by. Sirius gave Remus a  _Can't we be friends?_ glance, and, when given no response, walked away. Remus stared longingly down the hall towards his ex-best friend.

" _Qui c'est,_ _Ç_ _a?"_ Adrien asked after a moment's silence. Remus sighed.

"Ça, c _'est Sirius,"_ Remus answered mournfully. From his voice, Adrien could tell exactly how Remus felt about the boy.

" _Tu aimes Sirius?"_ Adrien asked softly. Remus nodded sullenly.  _"Et il n'aime pas tu?"_ Once again, Remus nodded. Adrien hugged Remus, pulling him closer than a normal straight guy would. Switching from French to English, Adrien mumbled, "Well, if you need any help getting over Sirius... I'm free..." Adrien blushed. Remus blushed as well.

"Oh... okay," Remus mumbled, staring at the ground. Suddenly, his face brightened as he asked, "Does Saturday work for you? 7 o'clock?"

Adrien didn't know how to respond. "I...I...I... you would actually go out with me?" he finally stuttered out.

Remus nodded. "Sure. I mean, there's other fish in the sea, right? Besides, you're cute." He smiled at Adrien, who blushed.

"Yeah, seven works. See you then?" Adrien asked. Once Remus nodded, Adrien said, "Okay. I need to get back to my common room. See you tomorrow, Remy."

Remus' face fell slightly as Adrien called Remus Sirius' special nickname for him.  _No, Remus, no thinking about him. Don't do that to yourself. You have Adrien now,_ Remus reminded himself as he began to walk down the hall. As he rounded a corner, he stopped. Standing there staring at him was Sirius.

"So you've got a date with that guy?" Sirius spat out bitterly. Remus flinched at the venom in Sirius' tone. "What the hell, Remus? None of us even knew you were gay! Why didn't you tell any of us? We're your best friends!" Remus shrugged and walked away.

As soon as Remus was out of hearing's distance, Sirius started to cry. He ran back to the common room and up to his dorm.

"Hey, Sirius, look a-" James looked up. His face took on a shocked expression. He had never seen Sirius crying like this before. He didn't even cry this hard when he was disowned! Confused, James said, "Sirius, what's wrong? Why are crying like that?"

"Remus is gay!" Sirius choked out. This confused James even more.

"But... wouldn't that be considered a good thing? I mean, with Remus being gay, you have a chance!"

"He's dating someone else!" Sirius sobbed. "Before, when he didn't like me I just told myself that it was because he didn't like guys! Now, it's not that he doesn't like  _guys,_ he just doesn't like  _me_! I'd rather he be straight then him be gay and dating someone else!"

James hugged his friend. "It'll be okay, Sirius. You know what you should do? You should date someone else. I'm sure there are plenty of people in school that'd be happy to date you. You never know, it could make him jealous.

Sirius looked at James. "Okay. I'll find someone."

OoOoOo

 _If I was invisible_  
Then I could just watch you in your room  
If I was invincible  
I'd make you mine tonight  
If hearts were unbreakable  
Then I could just tell you where I stand  
I would be the smartest man  
If I was invisible  
(Wait..I already am)

_\- "Invisible" by Clay Aiken_

**A/n: eh, idk how happy I am with how this chapter turned out. Although now I do have an idea of what I am doing in the next chapter. So I guess this chapter was more of a filler. As always, review!**

**-Kristan**

**XOXO**

**Translation:**

" _ **Sorry!** **!** " he muttered, not realizing he had begun talking in French. He did that a lot, especially if his mind was in a different place._

_" **It's fine** ," was the answer he got. Remus looked up. He's cute... Remus thought. Standing in front of him was a tall boy with redish blond locks. The boy smiled at him. " **You speak French**?"_

_**"Yes,"**  Remus answered, nodding. It was a nice change, speaking in his native language to someone. .  **"What's your name? How old are you?"** Remus stared at the boy. He really was cute. And French. French was good._

_**"I'm new. My name is Adrien. I'm 17. You?"**  Adrien responded, looking Remus in the eyes._

_**"My name is Remus. I'm 16 ye-"** Remus stopped as Sirius walked by. Sirius gave Remus a Can't we be friends? glance, and, when given no response, walked away. Remus stared longingly down the hall towards his ex-best friend._

_**"Who's that?"**  Adrien asked after a moment's silence. Remus sighed._

_**"That's Sirius,** " Remus answered mournfully. From his voice, Adrien could tell exactly how Remus felt about the boy._

_**"You like Sirius?"**  Adrien asked softly. Remus nodded sullenly.  **"And he doesn't like you?** " Once again, Remus nodded. Adrien hugged Remus, pulling him closer than a normal guy would._


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius wandered around the corridors, thinking about what he had told James. It didn't seem possible for Sirius to be able to find anyone to date for any length of time that wasn't Remus. He sighed.

"Gods, why did this have to happen to me?" Sirius muttered to the floor. "I hate my life."

"What a pity," came an answer, the voice echoing off the stone walls of the hall.

"Who's there?" Sirius asked, looking around. At first, he saw no one. It wasn't until someone stepped out of the shadows that Sirius saw who it was. "Regulus? What are you doing here?"

"I had a feeling that something was wrong when I saw you walking earlier, so I followed you", Regulus answered, shrugging.

"But... why?"

Concern showed in Regulus' eyes when he said, "Sirius, you may be disowned by Mother, but you're still my brother. I still look up to you, even if you don't realize it or think I care. So what's wrong?"

"Promise you won't hate me even more?" Sirius bit his lip hard, glancing at Regulus for a moment before looking back at the floor.

"I don't hate you, Sirius. Just tell me!"

"Okay." Sirius took a deep breath. "Well, I... I'm gay."

"Knew that already, but okay."

"Wait, what? How did you know?" Sirius was even more confused. He hadn't talked to Regulus in such a long time; how did Regulus know?

"Again, I'm your brother. I just know these things." Regulus teased. " Besides, I'm bi. So, how does that make your life suck?"

"You remember Remus?"

"The half-breed?" Sirius flinched. "Oops, sorry. Your friend, Remus? The frail one?"

"Yeah."

"What about him?"

"Well, I might be... um... well..."

"Let me guess, you're in love with him?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I think he's gay too, I mean he acts like it, so why does that suck so much for you?"

Sirius sighed again. "Well, first off, he won't even look at me anymore! We've been back for two weeks, and I still don't know what I did! It was such a sudden change, I don't know if I can handle not talking to him much longer..." he choked back a sob. "And now he's dating this new guy, Adrien!" Sirius broke down and started to cry. He leaned against the wall to steady himself.

Regulus hesitated before walking over and hugging the elder Black. "Shh, it's okay, Sirius. It'll be fine. Hey, I have an idea."

"What's your idea?"

"I know of a couple of gay Slytherins who would love to have a good time with a Black."

"Oh, wow, Reg..."

"So, want me to talk to some of them?"

"Sure, why not. Not like it could make any of this any worse."

"That's the spirit. I'll meet you by the lake in an hour."

OoOoOo

"Getting ready for your date?" James asked as he walked into the dorm. Remus, who had just gotten out of the shower, nodded. "When is it?"

"I'm supposed to be meeting Adrien at 7 o'clock outside of the Great Hall," Remus answered, drying his hair off with a towel.

"Fun," James said, a sarcastic twinge in his voice. Remus rolled his eyes. "Hey, Rem, can I ask you something?"

"As long as it's not about Siri-us," he said, adding the last syllable of Sirius' name once he realized he was using his nickname for Sirius.

"It is. Rem, why can't you just be friends with him again? It's destroying him!"

"Yeah, right..." Remus muttered. "Like me not talking to him would mess with him that much..."

"Oh, you have  _no_   _idea_  Remus. None at all," James said, storming out of the room.

"What the hell was that about?" Remus wondered aloud. He shrugged it off, looking at the clock. 6:45. Time for him to go down to the Great Hall for his date.

OoOoOo

Sirius threw a rock into the lake, his mind all over the place.  _I miss you so much Remy..._  He sat down on the ground and put his head in his hands.

"Hey, Sirius!" came the sound of Regulus' voice from behind him. "I have some people that I want you to meet."

Sirius didn't bother looking behind him as he said, "Just come over here. I'm not in the mood the get up."

"Mk." Regulus brought the group of guys over. He sighed as he looked at the crest-fallen look on his brother's face. He started to point out the men. "Okay, so this is Mark, seventh year. Leon, sixth year. Blake, sixth year. Hamiltonians, seventh year. Finally, my best friend, Jeremie Landens, fourth year." He sent a fond look his friend's way. "So, who do you want to 'date' to make Remus jealous?"

"I'd feel bad 'dating' any of them, though. I'd feel like I was using them!"

"Believe me, we won't feel used," said the tall red-head, Mark.

"Yeah, it'd be fun," agreed Jeremie, winking. Regulus winced, his eyes showing annoyance.

Sirius laughed. "Well, I guess if I must choose..."

"Choose me," Leon teased before bursting out in laughter.

"I'd like to date a Black..." Jeremie mumbled quietly, hoping no one heard the hope in his voice. Regulus heard him, and a pained expression took over his face. Sirius' eyes opened in understanding.

"Reg, can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?" Sirius asked. Regulus nodded, and Sirius pulled him ten yards away from the group.

"What's up, Sirius?" the younger boy asked, his voice shaking slightly.

"Reg, why did you bring Jeremie here? It's obvious that you really, really like him! I don't get why he would be one of the guys that you'd bring to date your brother!" Sirius exclaimed.

"He likes you.. I just want him to be happy. I love him so much... but I know that he wouldn't ever want me," Regulus said quietly. An idea popped into Sirius' head.  _Maybe_ ,  _just_   _maybe_ ,  _this_   _will_   _work_... Sirius nodded before leading Regulus back to the group.

"So, Leon, ready to be my fake boyfriend?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, of course, dearest!" Leon said, fake swooning. Sirius started laughing.

"Oh, my love!" Sirius managed to say through his laughter. "Hey, I'll meet you up at the school, okay?" Leon nodded and began to walk. The other men began to leave as well. "Hey, Jeremie, Reg, stay here for a minute, okay?" Regulus shot his brother a what do you think you're doing? look.

"Jeremie, I think Regulus has something that he needs to tell you. Isn't that right, Reg?" Sirius asked, giving his brother a pointed look.

"What? Uh, no! Why would I have anything that I need to tell you? It's not like I'm keeping anything inside, no, of course not!" Regulus said in a rushed breath. He darted his eyes around, looking at anything except for Jeremie and Sirius.

"Oh, for God's sake..." Sirius muttered. "Jeremie, he's in love with you." Jeremie's mouth dropped.

"He-what?" Jeremie said, his eyes wide.

"Sirius!" Regulus shouted. "Why the hell did you have to tell him? He doesn't love me!"

"What do you mean, I don't love you?" Jeremie asked.

"You said you want to date a Black! You want to date my brother! You love him, not me," Regulus said, looking down.

"Idiot," Jeremie chuckled, pulling Regulus into a hug. "I love you! You're a Black, too, you know! I want to date you, not your brother!"

"O-oh. Yeah!" Regulus smiled and kissed his new-found lover. Sirius coughed.

"That's good, that that guy you love loves you back," Sirius said, forcing a smile.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, I..."

"It's okay. Thanks for helping me, though, okay Reg? If you ever need my help, please come to me. I'm really glad that you don't hate me. It's hard to have the entire family hate you."

Regulus nodded. "Well, you should go find Leon and make plans and such."

"Yeah."

OoOoOo

Around 10 o'clock that night, Remus came back from his date to find Sirius hugging a handsome Italian guy outside of the portrait. "Bye, Leon, see you tomorrow," he heard Sirius whisper. Remus took a deep breath as the pair separated. He walked up behind Sirius and followed him into the common room.  
"Hey," he said softly as Sirius walked towards the stairs.

Sirius stopped dead in his tracks before turning around to face Remus. "Hey," he answered, unsure of what was going on. "Decided that I do in fact exist?" Sirius' voice cracked, and Remus could tell even in the dim light that the fire in the common room was setting off the Sirius was trying to hold back tears.

"Look, about that... can we sit down?" Sirius nodded, and the pair went to sit down on the crimson couch in front of the fire. Remus looks so beautiful in the firelight... Sirius thought as he looked at his... what was Remus to him now? A friend? An acquaintance? Nothing?

"Remy, what did I do? Did I offend you in someway? What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Please tell me, Remy. I can change. I'll do whatever it takes. I can't stand not talking to you," Sirius begged. "Please."

"You didn't do anything, Siri. Believe me."

"Why don't you want to be friends with me anymore then?" Sirius asked, confused.

"I can't tell you."

Sirius' eyes darked with hurt and pain. "Why not? You can tell me anything, Remy. Do you not want to be my best friend anymore? Why?"

"I still want to be your friend, Siri! It's just... I... Je t'aime tellement, et je ne peux plus supporter d'être juste un ami pour toi ! Je veux... non, j'ai  _besoin_  d'être plus que ça ! Ça me tue de ne pas pouvoir te dire ce que je ressens. Mais tu me détesterais..." (1)

"Huh? Remy, I can't understand what you are saying when you talk in French. Can't you tell me in English?"

"I'm sorry, Siri, but I really can't. I want to, but I can't."

"Okay. Fine. But, can we please be friends again?"

"Of course."

"Thank God," Sirius said, leaping up and hugging Remus. Remus took a deep breath, inhaling Sirius' scent. Being in Sirius' arms felt so right... he wanted this moment to never end. Eventually it had to, and the feeling of Sirius' arms around him would haunt Remus for days.

OoOoOo

 _Maybe you were right_  
But baby I was lonely  
I don't want to fight  
I'm tired of being sorry  
I'm standing in the street  
Crying out for you  
No one sees me  
But the silver moon

_-"Tired of Being Sorry" by Enrique Iglesias_

(1) ...I love you so much, and I can't handle just being your friend anymore! I want, no,  _need_ to be more than that! It's killing me that I can't just tell you how I feel. You'd hate me."


	4. Chapter 4

"Sirius! Get up!" Remus shouted, shaking his sleeping friend. It was 9:00 on a beautiful Saturday morning, and Sirius was still totally asleep. Remus rolled his eyes as the other boy continued to sleep. He shook him harder and yanked the sheets off of him. Remus paused as he admired the sleeping body in front of him. He looks so peaceful when he's asleep... He shook his head, trying to rid himself of any thoughts of his friend. He said again,"Sirius!"

"Wha?" Siris mumbled, turning over and pulling the covers back up.

"It's time for you to get up!"

"But it's a Saturday! I can sleep!" Sirius argued.

"Siri, if you don't get up right now, I am going to burn all of your Quiditch supplies," Remus threated. Sirius jumped up.

"Alright, alright, I'm up!" Sirius sat upright in his bed. He glared at Remus as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Remus chuckled.

"Come on, hurry up! I'm hungry!" Remus complained. "It's the full moon tonight, I need my energy!"

Now it was Sirius' turn to roll his eyes. "I'm going as fast as I can, wolf-boy," Sirius teased. Remus stuck his tongue out at him. Sirius smiled lightly as he flushed. Sirius got dressed, and the two boys began to walk down to the hall in silence. Sirius took a deep breath. "I-I'm glad we're friends again, Remy," he said softly, looking at the ground. "I really missed you."

"Yeah, I did, too," Remus said, his voice even quieter than Sirius'. "I'm sorry about... about all of this."

"It's okay, Remus. I don't care, I really don't. I'm just glad that you're talking to me," Sirius answered, glancing at the werewolf. "Why were you ignoring me in the first place?"

Remus flinched. "Sirius... I still can't tell you. You understand, right?"

Sighing, Sirius nodded. "Yeah, I do." It got quiet again for a moment before Sirius asked, "So, how are things with... Adrien, right?"

"Yeah, Adrien." A light smile appeared on Remus' face. "Things are going really good. He asked me to be his boyfriend the other day, isn't that great?"

Sirius felt like a knife had been thrust into his chest. His voice sounded higher that normal as he replied, "That's awesome, Remy. Congratulations."

Remus looked at the pained looking in Sirius' stormy gray eyes. "Hey, are you okay, Sirius?"

Sirius swallowed hard. "Yeah, I'm fi-"

He was cut off by someone shouting, "SIRIUS!" across the hall. Sirius looked up at the sound of his name to see Leon waving at him. Leon walked over to Sirius.

"How are you this morning, baby?" Leon asked, putting his arms around Sirius.

"Wonderful. How are you?" Sirius leaned over and kissed the other boy. Remus felt jealousy bubble in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm great, now that you're here," Leon answered, kissing Sirius again. Remus cleared his throat. "Oh, hi! I'm Leon, Sirius' boyfriend." He held his hand out for Remus to shake. "And you are?"

Remus shook Leon's hand hesitantly. "I'm Remus Lupin. Sirius' friend."

"Oh, I've heard all about you! It's a pleasure to finally meet you!" Leon exclaimed, smiling broadly at Remus.

"Um... yeah. Well, I've got to go... See you in a few minutes, Sirius?" Remus asked, his eyes pained and pleading. Sirius nodded. "Okay then." Remus walked into the hall.

"I can see why you like him so much. He's cute," Leon said to Sirius once Remus had gone inside the hall. Sirius nodded, and looked at the ground. Leon put his finger under Sirius' chin and lifted the boy's head up. "Hey, it's going to work out. I know it will."

"I don't know, Leon," Sirius mumbled. "I don't know how much longer I can stay 'just friends' with Remus before I accidentally tell him everything." Leon nodded. "Come on, lets go to the hall." The two boys joined hands and walked in. Leon went to the Slytherin table while Sirius went to be with his friends.

"Who was that?" James asked Sirius. "The guy that you walked in with."

"That was Leon," Sirius said, looking at his empty plate. "My boyfriend." When Sirius looked up, he noticed that James was giving him a weird look. He mouthed 'What about Remus?' Sirius shook his head and mouthed 'I'll explain later' back before looking down again.

"Hey, Remy," came a male voice. Remus and Sirius looked up to see a boy with light hair looking at Remus lovingly, his feelings for the other boy evident in his eyes. Sirius glared.

"Hey," Remus said before standing up and embracing the boy. He kissed him before saying, "Guys, this is the guy I told you about. Adrien, this is James and Peter." Remus said, nodding to each boy as he said their name.

"What about him?" Adrien said, looking at Sirius. (A/n: I know that Adrien has seen Siri from a distance in ch. 2, but it was a month previously, so Adrien doesn't really remember him.)

"I'm Sirius Black," Sirius said, venom piercing every word. Adrien let out a slight gasp and said a small, "Oh."

"Would you like to join us, Adrien?" Peter asked, trying to be polite.

Adrien nodded. "Sure." He sat down next to Remus and began to fill an empty plate with food. He and Remus started talking between themselves; Peter and James did the same. Sirius stared at his still empty plate, not saying a word.

"Hey, are you okay, Remus?" Adrien whispered when Remus glanced over at his sullen friend.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Remus answered, his voice shaking.

"You still love him, don't you?" Adrien asked, obviously upset.

Remus shrugged. "I really don't know how I feel about him. I know I like you, though, and I'm pretty sure that you like me."

Adrien chuckled. "Of course I like you. Why else would I be going out with you?" he teased. "Although I think you still love him." Remus shrugged. "I want to stay with you, though. At least for now."

"Yeah, me too," Remus said, smiling at his boyfriend. He leaned in and kissed the boy lightly.

Sirius looked up just as Remus and Adrien started kissing, as did James. James saw Sirius' eyes begin to get watery, and suggested that they go back to their dorm, telling Peter that there was somethings that James and Sirius needed to talk about.

"Bye Remus, Adrien," James said before walking out of the hall. Sirius just looked at the boys.

"Bye, Sirius," Remus said, trying his best to smile at Sirius. Sirius nodded, not bothering to say anything for the fear of his voice showing how he was feeling, before leaving as well.

Once Sirius had caught up to James, James said, "So, what was with that guy this morning, Sirius? You're dating that guy know?"

"Not exactly." Sirius hung his head in shame. He still felt bad about how he was using Leon, even though Leon knew what was happening. He wished that it was Remus who he was dating, not Leon. At least Reg is happy with Jeremie... he thought mournfully.

"Good. You're too in love with Rem to be dating anyone else," James commented. "What's going on between you and that guy then?"

"Reg set me and him up as a fake couple to make Remy jealous," Sirius admitted.

"Wait, what? Regulus helped you?" James asked in shock. "When did this happen?"

"The other night, when you told me to try and find someone else. I was upset and I ran into Regulus. I had no idea that he didn't hate me." Sirius looked at James. "It surprised me that he would even care about anything that was going on in my life."

"Of course he'd care; he's your brother. So, how is ol' Regulus?"

"He's good. Finally got the guts to ask out his best friend."

"What's the girl's name?"

"Jeremie."

"But that's a gu-"

"-ys name," Sirius finished for James. "Yeah. Looks like dear old mum and dad aren't going to have the future heirs that they've always wanted." Sirius laughed. James rolled his eyes, but smiled.

OoOoOo

The hours passed, and soon it was time for the boys to go to the Shrieking Shack for Remus' transformation. Peter scampered under the Womping Willow's hazardous branches and to the knot in the tree. Once the tree had stopped trying to kill the boys, James, Sirius, and Remus walked over and disappeared under the tree's thick roots.

Remus fell against the wall of the Shack as his bones began to break one by one. His skin stretched and his skeleton began to take a different shape. A black dog in the corner of the room whimpered as the wolf howled in pain. Once the transformation was over, Padfoot bounded over to the wolf, and pushed his muzzle into the wolf's neck. Moony snarled, and Padfoot tried again.

Pads, stop. He's not going to let you get close to him, came Prong's voice in Padfoot's mind.

I don't care. I'll keep trying, anyway. Padfoot tried one more unsuccessful time to nuzzle the werewolf's neck. He whimpered and slowly backed away as Moony snapped his jaws ferociously at him. He whimpered sadly again as he laid down on the floor and put his head on his paws. Moony hesitated before walking over to Padfoot and licking the dog's neck apologetically. As Padfoot's tail began to wag happily, Prongs looked at Moony's eyes. In the eyes' golden glow Prongs could see love for Padfoot. The wolf definitely wanted Padfoot as his mate. Prongs pranced around the room excitedly as the realization that Remus felt the same about Sirius and Sirius felt about him hit him.

OoOoOo

Oh it's heartache every moment  
From the start 'til the end  
It's heartache every moment  
With you  
Deeper into our heavenly suffering  
Our fragile souls are falling  
It's heartache every moment  
Baby with you  
My darling with you

From lashes to ashes  
And from lust to dust  
In your sweetest torment  
I am lost  
And we sense the danger  
But don't wanna give up

-"Heartache Every Moment" by H.I.M.


	5. Chapter 5

Light streamed through the window across Remus' bed in the Hospital Wing. Remus winced as he sat up in bed, a cut on his lower back reopening. He stretched, his joints cracking and popping as the stiffness from the previous night was relieved. Remus looked up as he heard a loud snore coming from the foot of the bed. He laughed as he poked Sirius, the boy's head reclining on the bed while the rest of his body was on a chair. "Up, Siri."

Sirius shot up. "Remus. You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Besides transforming into a wolf last night, just peachy," Remus joked. "How'd the wolf behave for you guys last night?"

"He… well, he was a bit aggressive towards me at first… but he settled down after a little while," Sirius reassured his friend after a worried look overcame Remus' face. Sirius felt his heart rate speed up as Remus began to smile.  _You have such a beautiful smile, Remy._ He smiled back. "Oh, before I forget. I brought this for you." He handed Remus a rectangular package.

"What's this?" Remus asked, taking the package slowly. He inspected it. "Nothing dangerous I hope?"

Sirius laughed and rolled his eyes. "Just open it, Remy."

Remus opened the package to find three bars of Honeydukes' finest (and most exspensive) chocolate. "Oh, wow. Thanks Sirius!" Remus exclaimed, lunging forward to hug Sirius.

"Anytime. It was the rest of my  _Remus Need Chocolate_ stash, though. I need to restock the next time we go to Hogsmeade." Sirius moved back to the chair.

Remus laughed. "Wait, you have a  _Remus Needs Chocolate_ stash?" he asked. He took one of the chocolate bars, unwrapping it as he put the other two bars on the table next to his hospital bed. He broke off a piece and held it out to Sirius, who accepted it gladly.

"Of course I do," Sirius answered, taking o bite of the chocolate. "If I didn't keep chocolate for you, who would?"

Remus shrugged before popping a piece of the candy into his mouth, smiling as the velvety richness of the chocolate blanketed his taste buds. He licked his lips, an action that didn't go unnoticed. Sirius flushed as blood rushed down his body, his jeans starting to tighten slightly. Remus glanced at Sirius.

"Hey, Sirius, you feeling okay?" he asked. "You're all flushed." He reached over and caressed Sirius' cheek softly. "And you're face is really warm."

Sirius resisted the urge to lean into the touch as he gulped, the pressure against his pants increasing. "I'm fine," he answered, his voice cracking. "It… it's just a bit warm in here." He tugged at the collar of his shirt uncomfortably.

"Really? I think it's just right in here. Maybe a little on the cold side, if anything."

"O-oh. Well, to each their own. Hey, Remy, I need to tell you someth-"

"Hey, Remus!" interrupted a voice. Sirius glared at the intruder.  _Damn you, Adrien! I was about to tell Remus that I'm in love with him, and you had to come in!_ He looked at Remus to see him smiling broadly at Adrien.  _I'd give anything to be able to get him to smile at me like that…"_ Adrien sat down on the bed next to Remus and put his arm around his boyfriend snuggly. "Lily said that you weren't feeling good so you were here. Are you feeling any better now, baby?"

Remus nodded. He leaned his head against Adrien's chest as he wrapped his arms around his waist. Adrien kissed Remus' forehead, smiling lovingly at the boy next to him.  _I hate you,_  Sirius thought, narrowing his eyes at the couple in front of him. He cleared his throat. "Ahem."

"Oh, you're still here, Sirius. What was it that you were going to tell me?" Remus asked as he remembered that his best mate was still in the room.

Sirius sighed. "Just forget it. It's not important. It's really stupid."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I need to go and find James. Bye, Remy," Sirius said, walking out of the Hospital Wing. He glared at Adrien one final time before leaving.

"I don't think he likes me much," Adrien confessed.

Remus shrugged. "I don't know why he wouldn't. You're great," he said, kissing Adrien. He pulled his boyfriend into a tight embrace before snogging him.

The boys were still locked in a passionate embrace when Madame Pompfrey walked over to Remus' bed. "Mr. Lupin," she said. Remus and Adrien sprung apart, both with flushed cheeks and swollen lips. "Once you are dressed, you are free to go." Remus quickly changed into his clothes.

"Hey, I need to go talk to Prof. Adams, buy do you want to meet up later?" Adrien asked.

"Sure. I need to talk to James and Siri, so how about we meet up by the lake around 3:30?"

"Okay. I'll see you later." Adrien kissed Remus again. "I love you, Rem."

Remus froze up before paling slightly. It was the first time Adrien had ever said those words to him. "I…"  _Don't say it, don't say it!_ "…love…"  _Sirius! You still love SIRIUS! You always will! He's not Sirius!_ "…you, too," Remus choked out, the words sounding fake and high pitched to his ears. He hugged Adrien. "See you later. Bye."

OoOoOo

"James!" Sirius called into the dorm room. "I need to talk to you!" He bounded over to James' bed, and plopped down onto it.

"What is it?" James asked, looking up from his book on Quiditch strategies. "Is about Moony?"

"Uh… maybe?" Sirius blushed and looked down.

"How did I know?" James looked over at Sirius. He was sitting at the end of the bed, his long black hair tied back. He was drawing designs on his jeans, staring intently at the bedspread. "What about him this time has got you down?"

"It's him and Adrien. I can't stand them together!" Sirius exclaimed. "I am so jealous of Adrien it's not even funny. And you want to know what the worst part about it is? I was so close to telling Remy today! Right when I was about to say the words, Adrien came in and it was like I didn't even exist anymore! I hate Adrien so much. He stole my Remy from me."

"Um, Sirius, I hate to say this but… Remus wasn't really ever yours. He chose to be with Adrien."

"Thanks, Jim, you're great at cheering me up," Sirius said sadly, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Hey, Padfoot? How much do you like Moony? I mean, I know you love him and all, but how deep does it run?"

Sirius paused to think about his answer. "Well, I'm my happiest whenever I'm with him. Except for when he wasn't speaking to me. That sucked. I want to be the one there to protect him when things go wrong, to cheer him up when he's sad or hurting. It drives me crazy even time I'm near him that I can't take him into my arms and just hold him close to me. I could keep him in my arms forever and never grow tired of it. I want to be the one to make all of his dreams come true. All I've wanted since 3rd year was to grow old with him. Merlin, Jim, I love Remy so much."

"I know you do, Pads."

Outside the door, a boy slid down the wall in shock.

OoOoOo

Remus stared forward from his position on the floor.  _Sirius is in love with me? He's been in love with me for three years and he never said anything? How is that possible? That's not at all like my Siri. He's can't keep anything inside. He wears his heart on his sleeve. Hell, he can't stay with one person for more than a day or so! How can he be in love with me? I'm just Remus. I'm a gay werewolf. Wait, a minute… Sirius loves me! YES! Oh shit, what am I going to do about Adrien…?_ The door opened, and James and Sirius stepped into the hall.

"Remus?" Sirius stated, looking at his friend. Remus nodded in acknowledgement, blushing as he realized where exactly his face was in relation to Sirius' body.  _Thoughts get out of my head!_ He looked up at Sirius' face. "How long have you been out here?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't know, ten minutes or so?"

Sirius pales. "So you heard… everything?" When Remus nodded, Sirius stuttered, "Uh, I need to leave then" before running out of the tower.

"James? What just happened?"

"You're a smart boy, Rem. Think about it."

OoOoOo

 _Tell me, tell me_  
What makes you think that you are invincible?  
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure  
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable  
Impossible

 _I was born to tell you I love you_  
Isn't that a song already?  
I get a B in originality  
And it's true I can't go on without you  
Your smile makes me see clear  
If you could only see in the mirror what I see

_-"Vulnerable" by Secondhand Serenade_


	6. Chapter 6

The first blooms of spring were beginning to blossom. The birds were chirping, the trees were green. The lake sparkled as the sun's rays hit it at just the right angle. Friends celebrated as the harsh cold of winter left the Hogwarts' grounds. Friends except for Remus and Sirius, that is. Three months had passed from the day that Remus had overheard Sirius and James' conversation, and Sirius still hadn't said one word to him.

The Mauraders were sitting by the lake, enjoying the warm weather. James and Sirius were plotting, Peter was drawing designs in the dirt, and Remus was staring mournfully at Sirius.  _Maybe he'll talk to me today,_ Remus thought.  _It's worth a try..._

"Hey, Sirius?" he said, quietly. Sirius ignored him and continued to plot. Remus tried again, only louder this time. "Sirius, talk to me!" Remus reached out his hand to touch Sirius, but Sirius flinched away without so much as a glance Remus' direction. Remus' eyes narrowed and his face hardened. "You know what? I don't care anymore. Fuck you, Sirius." He got up and stormed away.

There was an awkward silence as Remus walked up to the castle. Once he had reached the door, James exclaimed, "What the hell, Pads! You can't keep on ignoring him like this!"

"Why not?!" Sirius shot back. "I have every right to! If I don't talk to him, I'll move on faster! You saw the look on his face when he heard!"

"So what is he was shocked? You'd be shocked too if you overheard Rem say that he was in love with you, wouldn't you?" James argued.

"Well, yeah, but, but, but... he doesn't love me the way I love him!"

James looked at Sirius and rolled his eyes. "You can be so thick sometimes, Sirius." He followed Remus' actions, getting up and going back to the castle. Peter followed suit.

"What the hell did that mean?" Sirius asked aloud before getting up and shouting, "Hey guys, wait up!" as he ran to catch up with James and Peter.

OoOoOo

As Remus walked back to the castle, his eyes burned with frustration as he thought about all of his good times with Sirius...

_Winter, 5th year..._

_"Come on, Remy! It's snowing!" Sirius shouted. He pounced on Remus' sleeping form._

_"Wha?" Remus mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. As he slowly sat up, Sirius threw his arms around Remus, who immediately flushed._

_"It's snowing! I want to go play in it!' Sirius grabbed Remus, pulling him out of bed._

_"Ge'off me," he muttered. "It's..." he looked at the clock, "5:45 in the morning! I don't even like snow. It's wet and... cold. Get James to go with you!"_

_"I don't want James, I want you!" Sirius exclaimed. Remus blushed even more, and he suddenly had a burning desire to kiss the other boy. Remus sighed._

_"Alright, fine. Let's go." Remus got out of bed and put on his jeans. He looked up to see Sirius staring at him. "What?"_

_Sirius shook his head. "Nothing. Let's go!" He ran down the steps and out of the tower, Remus following close behind. He lost track of Sirius as he reached the door leading to the grounds._

_"Siri?" he called as he got outside, shivering as the cold hit him full force. "Where are-" He was cut off as a ball of cold, wet mush hit him in the side of the face. He heard laughter to the right of him. "Sirius!" he yelled, laughing as well. He scooped up some of the frozen liquid and threw it at his friend. Soon enough, Remus and Sirius were both soaking wet as snowballs flew throughout the air at a rapid rate. The boys collapsed in a heap in the snow as the sun finishing rising, hues of red, orange, and yellow painting the sky._

_(End flashback)_

"Why did everything have to get so screwed up?" Remus asked himself. "He doesn't have to avoid me. What's the point of that? He didn't even give me a chance to tell me how I feel!"

**(Younger readers, skip this part.) * * ***

"How do you feel about him, Remus?" a voice spat venomously.

"Wha- Adrien!" Remus' eyes opened widely. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you. You've seemed down the last few days and I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help. Looks like there isn't." Adrien's eyes flashed dangerously as he looked pointedly at Remus. He punched Remus hard in the stomach, knocking all the wind out of him. As Remus lay on the ground gasping for air Adrien said, "Now answer my question! Do you love Sirius?"

"N-no! Of course not! I love you!" Remus cried.

"LIAR!" A loud  _smack_ echoed off the walls of the corridor as Adrien's hand connected with the side of Remus' face.

"I am not lying! I love you, Adrien, not Sirius!" Remus exclaimed, holding his hand on his stinging cheek.  _Sirius, if you are somewhere around here, come find me! I love you! I need you right now!_

"Don't like to me, you ungrateful bastard." He grabbed Remus and shoved his head against the stone floor. Remus saw spots on the corners of his vision. "You don't deserve someone as good as me!" He punched Remus in the jaw, knocking a tooth out. "I hate you! We're over!" He punched him in the eye. "You think that that slut Sirius is going to want you? You're damaged goods! Once I'm finished with you, no one is ever going to want you!" He punched Remus in the face again before pinning him down and pressing his mouth hard against Remus', forcing his tongue into Remus' mouth. He held Remus' tighter as he began to unzip Remus' jeans...

OoOoOo

**(YOUNGER READERS CAN START HERE AGAIN!) * * ***

Back in the common room...

James walked into the common room, still obviously very annoyed at Sirius.

"Hey, James," Lily said, looking up as James entered the room. "You look... I don't know. Is everything okay?"

"Sirius is a prick."

"Hey! I am not!" Sirius argued as he entered the room.

"Yes, you are! You're being such a jackass to Moony!"

Lily looked at Remus. "What did you say to him?"

"Nothing! That's the point!" James exclaimed. "He hasn't spoken to him or even looked at him in three months!"  
"So what?" Sirius asked bitterly.

"So it's hurting him! He hasn't slept or eaten properly for weeks!"

"Shut up, Jamie! I can do what I want! It's my life!" He stormed out of the tower.

"What the fuck in his problem?!" James huffed, collapsing onto the couch. "Avoiding him isn't going to make him move on! He's still completely head-over-heels in love with Moony!"

"Yeah, I totally agr- Wait, did you just say he's avoiding Rem so that he can move on?" James nodded. "That's exactly what Remus did at the beginning of the year!"

"So that's why he was avoiding him? Interesting." James paused. "Hey, Lils?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

James took a deep breath. "Do I have any chance with you at all?"

"I'll answer you after you answer a question of mine, okay? Why is it that you even  _want_ to be in a relationship with me?"

James looked stunned. "Do you even have to ask why? I love you, Lily, and I always have. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, I promise! I want to be able to hold you close and kiss you without you rejecting me..." He blushed and looked down towards the ground.

"I guess we can work something out," she teased before leaning in an kissing James lightly on the lips.

OoOoOo

"Prick? I am not a prick," Sirius muttered as he wandered down the hall. "I need to sit down somewhere where no one will fin me." He spotted a door to a closer a little way down the corridor. He went in and shut the door. He turned the handle to see if he'd be able to get back out afterwards. "Fuck, it's locked," he said. He heard a cough. "Who's there?" he whispered. No response, just more coughing. "Lumos." A beam of light shot out of the tip of Sirius' wand and he gasped as he saw...

" _I'm calling you, dear._  
Can't you see me standing right here?  
Life's bleeding from fear.  
I will give it straight from my vein.

 _(In the rain) I'm calling you, dear_  
(Find the way) Can't you see me standing right here?  
(Feel my pain) Life's bleeding from fear  
(Find its place) I will give it straight from my vein"

_-I.V. By X Japan_


	7. Chapter 7

"Remus? Why are you here?" Sirius asked as the light from his wand hit the other closeted member.

"I-I-" Remus sputtered before breaking out into another intense fit of coughing. There was a wet  _splat_ on the ground as Remus vomited.

"Oh, my God, Remus, what that blood? What the hell happened to you?" Sirius conjured up a small candle so he could see Remus better. Anger seized Sirius as he took Remus' appearance in. His left eye had swollen shut, he was missing a few teeth, and dried blood was caked on his face, his neck, his legs... everywhere.

"Nothing," Remus said softly.

"Rem, this definitely isn't nothing!" Sirius exclaimed, his face hardening. "It was Adrien, wasn't it?" Remus hesitated before nodding. "What did he do to you?!"

"He-he accused me of loving someone else," Remus hiccuped. "I denied it and he beat me. He said that no one would want me when he was done with me. And then he-he-" Remus was unable to finish what he was saying before he burst into tears.

"The bastard raped you?!" Sirius shrieked. Remus backed away, his eyes widening in fear. Sirius' face softened. "Merlin, Rem. I'm so sorry about what that monster id to you. I am going to tear him limb from limb the next time I see him." He held his arms out for Remus. 'Come here, let's get you cleaned up." He did a quick  _Scourify_ to get rid of all of the dried blood. "I don't know how good my healing charms are, but they'll hold until someone unlocks this closer. There, does that feel any better?"

Remus nodded, his tears stopping. "Thanks, Siri."

"You're welcome. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Um, this may sound stupid but... can I have a hug?" Remus bit his lip, slightly embarrassed about his request.  _He hasn't talked to you in months, why would be want to hug you? You're so stupid sometimes, Remus._

Sirius chucked. "Of course you can. Come here, Moony." Remus moved over to Sirius, immediately putting his arms around the other boy and putting his head on Sirius' chest. Sirius in turn held Remus tight to him as he inhaled the other boy's scent, sighing.  _How can something so wrong feel so right?_ His heart sped up.

"What's wrong, Siri?" Remus asking, looking into Sirius' eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"You sighed." Sirius shrugged, looking away. It was silent for a while. Sirius was off daydreaming until his thoughts were interrupted by Remus asking, "Why haven't you spoken to me in three months?"

"You know why, Remus."

"No, I don't!" Remus exclaimed. I overheard you talking to James about me. Who cares?"

"I do! You want to know why I didn't talk to you? Why you had to be dead to me?"

Remus flinched. "I didn't know that I'm dead to you..." he said softly.

Sirius ignored him, continuing his rant. He moved so he was sitting against the wall opposite Remus. "I knew that you'd reject my feelings for you the next time that we'd talk, and that'd completely destroy our friendship. The only way for us to stay friends was for me so move on. So that's what I did. I ignored you and I moved on."

Remus felt his heart break. "So you're not in love with me anymore?"

"'Course not. I'm talking to you again, aren't I?"

 _I knew I was just getting my hopes up,_ Remus thought. "O-oh. Okay."

Sirius looked up to see a pained expression on Remus' face. He looked like he was holding back tears. Sirius' heart melted.  _Great job, Sirius, you hurt him. The last thing you ever wanted to do._ "What did I say to hurt you, Remy?"

"N-nothing," Remus stuttered, his voice cracking. He avoided eye contact with Sirius, not wanting the other boy to see how hurt he was.

Realization hit Sirius like a semi truck. "Wait, are you in love with me, Moony?" Remus shook his head vigorously. "You are, aren't you?"

"Alright, fine! I am! I always have! It doesn't matter. You've moved on," Remus said sadly, putting his head on his knees, his arms around his legs.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

Sirius took a deep breath. "Why me? Why, of all the guys here, are in you in love with me? I'm no where near good enough for you."

"Of course you are, Sirius!" Remus exclaimed. He raised his head, but still wouldn't look at Sirius. "You're perfect. You're smart, you have a great sense of humor, you're sexy as fuck, everyone loves you." He stared intently at the floor.

"Rem, look at me," Sirius said softly, moving closer to Remus. Remus jumped as he felt a soft pair of lips cover his mouth.

When Sirius pulled back, Remus said, "What the hell was that, Sirius?"

"A kiss."

"I know that, but why? You don't love me anymore!"

This time it was Sirius' turn to look away. "I lied when I said that I'd moved on. I'm still very much in love with you."

"Then why'd you say that you'd moved on?"

Sirius shrugged. "Fear, I guess? I canted to be able to be friends with you again, but I didn't think..." His voice trailed off.

"You didn't think I'd want to be friends with you if I knew you still loved me?"

"Yeah." Sirius jumped forward, pulling Remus into a tight embrace. "I love you so much, Remy."

Sirius pulled Remus even closer as Remus said the words that Sirius had been dying to hear for ages. "I love you, too, Siri."

"Do you want to go out with me then?"

"Of course." Remus put his forehead against Sirius', smiling. "Hey, Siri?"

"Yeah?" He answered before kissing his boyfriend lightly again.

"When did you realize that you were in love with me?"

"When we found out that you were a werewolf. You?"

"Last winter, when you woke me up at 5:45 AM to play in the snow.

OoOoOo

 _They don't know how long it takes_  
Waiting for a love like this  
Every time we say goodbye  
I wish we had one more kiss  
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

 _I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_  
Lucky to have been where I have been  
Lucky to be coming home again  
Lucky we're in love every way  
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed  
Lucky to be coming home someday

_-Lucky by Jason Mraz_

_**Yeah, I know that was a short chap** _


	8. Chapter 8

EPILOGUE

Fifteen years later later:

Sirius slowly woke up to feel pressure pushing on his chest. He smiled loving as he glanced at the werewolf that was laying against him, fast asleep. Remus had his arm around Sirius' stomach, a smile gracing his face as he slept. The black-haired boy placed a light kiss on his husband's hair before sighing happily. "I love you so much, Rem," Sirius whispered as he pulled the amber-eyed boy tighter against him. Remus shifted and opened his eyes slowly as he woke up. He smiled at his mate.

"Good morning, baby," Remus said softly as he swiftly kissed his husband of eight years. After they had graduated, Remus and Sirius had bought house down the street from the house that James and Lily had bought. They ended up getting married a few years later, and were still very much in love. Remus smiled widely as Sirius pulled him closer until even air couldn't get in between them. The men laughed at the end of the bed sank as another body flung onto it.

"Dad! Papa! Wake up! It's snowing outside! Up!" Sirius lunged forward and pulled the eight-year-old boy against him, ruffling his hair. The Black-Lupin family had adopted the boy four years earlier after Nathaniel had been abandoned by his family for being a werewolf. Remus and Sirius, who had been trying to adopt since they had gotten married, were thrilled to hear that a child had become over the moon, and they had been over the moon to discover that the child they were going to be taken care of was a werewolf. They wished that their son didn't have to go through his monthly transformations, but they were glad that Nathaniel had someone like Remus to help him through the pain and turmoil that came with being a creature of the night.

The boy's blond hair fell over his blue eyes as he bounced up and down on his knees. "Up! I want to go play in the snow! Plat with me!"

"Harry and baby Liza are coming over in a bit, remember?" Remus reminded his son calmly. "You can play with Harry while Papa and I talk to Aunt Lily and Uncle James."

"Can Liza play in the snow with us, too?"

Remus laughed as he hugged his son between him and Sirius. "Liza is too young to play in the snow with you, Nate."

"Then can Cassie come and play with me?" The loud wail was heard from the next room over as the baby's name was mention. Remus leaned over to kiss his husband before standing to tend to the youngest child, who was only a month old. She was born via a surrogate mother. Nathaniel looked at his long-haired father, his eyes pleading. "Can Cassie please come play with me? I want to teach her how to make a snowman." Sirius kissed his son's head.

"You can when she's older, scout," he said, laughing at his son's enthusiasm to teach things to his younger sister.

"Then will you bring her out after me and Harry make a snowman? I want her t see how amazing she'll be able to make snowmen after I teach her." Remus walked in with the baby in his arms, pulling her into Nathaniel's lap when he held out his arms for the squirming infant. The eight year old hugged his sister lightly after being warned to be gentle by his dads. Sirius got up out of the bed as a knock was heard at the door. Five minutes later, Harry ran into the bedroom and jumped up to be with Nathaniel.

"Come on, Nate! Let's go make a snowman!" Nathaniel nodded enthusiastically and kissed his sister before handing her to Remus. The boys ran into the front room to put on their snow things before going into the back yard to build a snowman. Remus snuggled his baby girl before walking into the den to be with his friends and his husband.

"Hey, Remus," James said as Remus put Cassie down on the floor next to Liza, the Potter's six month old. He sat down on the couch next to Sirius, leaning his body into the other man's. "How've you been?"

"Well, things have been hectic since Cassie was born, but other than that, things have been awesome. An amazing husband, two amazing children… I couldn't be happier." Remus leaned over to peck his husband on the cheek before snuggling into him.

Lily smiled at the couple. "You two are so cute," she said, laughing. The four adults turned to glance at the babies as Liza rolled over to face Cassie, cooing loudly as she reached over to hit Cassie. The couples laughed. The door opened a few moments later, and two snow-covered boys wandered in, their noses and ears red from the freezing wind.

"Come outside with Cassie, Dad!" Nathaniel called as he beckoned his dads over.

"And Liza!" Harry added. "We want them to see our snowman!" They started to run back outside.

"Harry, Nate, hold on a minute! The girls are too young to go out, but we'll take them to the window and you can show it to them through it, okay?" The boys nodded, and ran out the door. Sirius and James picked up the babies and held them up to the window as Remus and Lily went into the kitchen to make tea. Sirius smiled as he watched his son jump happily and point to the snowman, Harry by his side. He sent the boys thumbs up before he and James sat back down on the couch, the girls still in their arms. Remus and Lily returned to the room a moment later, their arms filled with their sons under one arm and tea in the other. Sirius smiled broadly as he pulled his husband and son tightly against him, kissing Remus on the head.

"I love you so much," he whispered to his husband as Remus leaned his head against Sirius' shoulder. Nathaniel sat down on Remus' lap, and Sirius took in his family: Remus against him, Cassie in his arms, and Nathaniel on his partner's lap. Sirius could hardly believe that he was lucky enough to have Remus as his husband. He had never thought that his dream of spending the rest of his life with Remus would ever come true, and now, he was married to the man of his dreams and had a family with him. It was the most amazing feeling Sirius had ever experienced, and he wouldn't trade his family for the world. He finally had his dream, and there was no chance of him letting it go.

Fin.


End file.
